Bar / Bat Mitzvah Planning with Doctor Simcha

I and several friends are starting to plan bar and bat mitzvahs for the coming year. We live in an area that has a small jewish population (the entire mitzvah class is only 8), and find that guests do not understand (or choose to disregard)dress codes and manners during the religious service (kids and adults wearing jeans, or revealing clothing, people drinking coffee, text messaging etc...). I quess it is a sign of letdown in Religious Service expectations. I am not a priss, but I find that drinking coffee during the service very disrespectful (and this was by a temple member!). My question is, would it be all right to include a card with the invite to gently advise people that jeans, flipflops, and bare shoulders (need for a coverup)are frowned upon, as well as food and electronic devices in the santuary during a service? Any ideas? How can it be worded so it doesnt sound preachy and stuffy?

Hi, Chollyk...

Planning a B'nai Mitzvah for your child is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and you should never be afraid of making it exactly what you want it to be. In precisely the same way that a bride will include a recommendation for appropriate attire in her invitations (white tie, black tie, semi-formal, etc.), you have every right to be specific about the nature of your event (and your expectations of the attendees) in yours. So long as your choice of wording is warm, gentle and polite, no one should take any offense. Perhaps something along these lines:

Dress is semi-formal -- no jeans, shorts, flipflops, or bare shoulders (without a cover-up), please.

Please do not bring food, drinks or electronic devices into the sanctuary.

Good luck, and Mazel Tov!

Tammy
The Amazing Bottle Dancers