DoctorSimcha.com’s Bar Mitzvah Planning Forum

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normal post DoctorSimcha.coms Bar Mitzvah Planning Forum Author Topic: Invitees
bekahsmom
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 DoctorSimcha.coms Bar Mitzvah Planning Forum
xx DoctorSimcha.coms Bar Mitzvah Planning Forum Invitees
on: March 2, 2012, 15:08
quote DoctorSimcha.coms Bar Mitzvah Planning Forum Quote

For my daughter's Bat-Mitzvah, instead of a luncheon or evening affair the day of her service, we are planning a trip to Israel the following year. We are having a small kid-focused the night of the service, but just with HER friends.

This being said, I am struggling with my invitee list. Because we aren't having a large function, do we still invite cousins, our parent's friends who would have been invited if we were having a luncheon instead? We are planning to have a more extensive oneg after the service offering bagels, deli, kugel etc for about an additional hour but other than that, they wont be invited to any other sort of party.

I don't want guests to feel they are invited to just bring a gift, but want them as part of this simchah. I am torn as to what the right thing is to do. I am trying to think of a way to incorporate guests knowing about our Israel trip so they also aren't confused as to why there isn't any function information in the invite.

Thanks.

AceSharon
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xx DoctorSimcha.coms Bar Mitzvah Planning Forum Re: Invitees
on: March 2, 2012, 19:59
quote DoctorSimcha.coms Bar Mitzvah Planning Forum Quote

Well if you are trying to make a small guest list, I don't think you should invite everyone to the function. I know it might be hard to do, but it's not like you are not inviting people for personal dislike or anything. Cutting back the guest list would be the right thing to do if you are planning a small event.
If you find it hard to cut back the list, you can invite cousins and specifically tell them you haven't planned any function, and it's just oneg where they can have some tea/coffee etc. Since there won't be any party, I don't think they will be compelled to bring any gift.
It's best to put things out in the open. Be frank and tell them you are planning a trip to Israel so you aren't really planning a party or anything. I'm sure they'll understand.

TNTmom
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xx DoctorSimcha.coms Bar Mitzvah Planning Forum Re: Invitees
on: March 7, 2012, 06:32
quote DoctorSimcha.coms Bar Mitzvah Planning Forum Quote

I would agree with Ace Sharon. I don't think there is anything wrong with inviting just a few people. Many people do that. Of course you can have a Mitzvah with pomp and glory, but not everyone does it. Some people like it simple. And congrats for the Israel trip. Even I wanna go there with my family. We've been making plans from years. Lets see when the lucky day comes. All the best!

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