DoctorSimcha.com’s Bar Mitzvah Planning Forum

For my daughter's Bat-Mitzvah, instead of a luncheon or evening affair the day of her service, we are planning a trip to Israel the following year. We are having a small kid-focused the night of the service, but just with HER friends.

This being said, I am struggling with my invitee list. Because we aren't having a large function, do we still invite cousins, our parent's friends who would have been invited if we were having a luncheon instead? We are planning to have a more extensive oneg after the service offering bagels, deli, kugel etc for about an additional hour but other than that, they wont be invited to any other sort of party.

I don't want guests to feel they are invited to just bring a gift, but want them as part of this simchah. I am torn as to what the right thing is to do. I am trying to think of a way to incorporate guests knowing about our Israel trip so they also aren't confused as to why there isn't any function information in the invite.

Thanks.

I would agree with Ace Sharon. I don't think there is anything wrong with inviting just a few people. Many people do that. Of course you can have a Mitzvah with pomp and glory, but not everyone does it. Some people like it simple. And congrats for the Israel trip. Even I wanna go there with my family. We've been making plans from years. Lets see when the lucky day comes. All the best!